Wheat Fields – A Poem About Theresa May

I see you in the wheat fields

And amongst the corn,

You hide amidst the rye

In the early morn.


You try to move out of my view

Just as I’m passing by,

You’re so silly Theresa May –

There’s no need to be shy!


Oh, why are you so naughty?

Wish I was as bad as you.

The worst thing I’ve ever done

Is sniff some prit stick glue!


Note: If you don’t understand this poem, then I strongly recommend that you watch this very short video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNQE4bzFkyU . It’s hilarious, regardless of your political views!

Fertiliser – A Poem

My bush has been unkempt

Now for many days,

It has even started to look

A bit like a maze.


First I give it a trim –

It now looks a bit more neat.

Then I get out my sprayer,

Fertilisation complete.


My Mossy Stone – A Poem

Whenever I am feeling

Lost and alone,

I turn to my mossy stone.

Soft as a blanket

Hard as steel,

My mossy stone.


None of the other stones

Can compare,

Scattered amongst thorns

Without a care.


A shoulder to cry on

When I am upset

To give me courage

So up I get

A man reborn

A soul renewed

The same feeling I feel

When I am nude.

All because of my mossy stone.