Self-Assessment – A Poem

Today is self-assessment day,

Time to fill out my form.

Yesterday I was punched in the face

So I already feel forlorn.


I saw my friend and said,

“I’m too insecure for this.

What could the government find

That they would hate to miss?”


To this my friend then said,

“What’s with all the doubt?

It’s only a tax return,

What’s to be uncomfortable about?”


The bulb lit up, the penny dropped,

I laughed before I said,

“I thought it was a medical exam

Complete with samples, which I dread!”

Sweet Calamine – A Poem

You are a hive of splendour

If ever I was so callous as to lose you

If ever I was so rash as to leave you

My sweet Calamine.


I will be burnt by the sun

But will anoint myself with your magnificence

You will forever soothe my irritation

My sweet Calamine.


For anyone who doesn’t know: “Calamine, also known as calamine lotion, is a medication used to treat mild itchiness. This includes from sunburn, insect bites, poison oak, or other mild skin conditions. It may also help dry out skin irritation.”

Just to make sure I don’t get done for plagiarism, I got this definition from Wikipedia 🙂