Stiff Boogie – A Poem

Why do I always find

It so difficult to dance?

Disco, foxtrot, cha-cha…

I’m afraid there is no chance!


Oh, I can do a pirouette

And slide across the floor,

But of the splits in heels

I’m really not so sure!


I begin to stiffen up

When I step on the dance floor

And feeling all self-concious

I scan for the back door.


People are blocking the exit

So my heart begins to race

I waste more time by pretending

I need to tie my shoe lace.


I do a stiff boogie

As I try to look cool

But back away from the lights

Only to trip over a bar stool.


I grab for something, anything,

To stop me falling on my back

But my hand finds a poor souls waistband

And my fingers slide into their crack!


I quickly withdraw my hand

Continue to stumble around,

But they punch me in the face

And I fall unconcious to the ground.


Once I’m able to crawl

Back to the back door,

Suddenly, saying ‘excuse me’

Doesn’t seem so bad anymore…

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